Honestly, I didn't really relish sitting down to watch this movie again. I'd seen it before, obviously, and pronounced it one of those movies best only watched in its Mystery Science Theater incarnation. Just thinking about watching it again made my head hurt, but for you, I sucked it up and plowed through. It turns out the movie really doesn't get any better with age.

Some Martian kids decide they would be happier with Christmas on Mars, so the Martian army (or whatever) sends a Stacey Keach looking Martian, a "lovable" goofball, and a big robot to kidnap Santa Claus and make him spread joy and Christmas spirit across Mars. Naturally, the children of Earth aren't going to stand by and watch all their presents get shanghaid up to Mars.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is the sort of movie I should enjoy, as I admire the good old days when kiddie films were completely warped and totally off their rockers. You just don't get bizarre children's fare like this anymore. And I suppose I'd be much happier watching this than a movie where Hillary Duff solves problems or kids drive around go-carts and foil bank robbers. But the fact remains that, weird though it may be, it's mostly just horribly boring -- far more boring than a movie about Santa fighting Martians should be. Colorful, sure, and maybe fun to look at for a while, but for the most part, the film just grates on my nerves, and I'd much rather watch that Mexican movie where Santa and Merlin kick Satan's ass.

Labels: Set: Sci-Fi Classics