Sunday, December 9, 2007

Hercules Unchained

When American bodybuilder Steve Reeves was approached about the lead role in the 1957 Italian film Hercules, he took it, figuring that if nothing else it was his first big role and would look good on his resume alongside things like "Mr. Universe." Reeves, like most people, never dreamed of what the film would become. Hercules was a smash. It shattered box office records in one country after another. From Italy to Hong Kong and even to the remote rural towns of India, people went nuts for Hercules' crazy blend of gladiator action, swashbuckling adventure, and monster slaying. At the center of it all was Steve Reeves, standing atop a cliff, the sun glinting off his well-oiled barrel chest while down below lean, young, mostly naked guys wrestled each other and did the long jump in hopes of attracting the man-god's attention. Reeves' charisma elevated the middling mythical fantasy to fantastically mythical proportions. He became a household name, instantly shooting from nobody (or as nobody as "Mr. Universe" can be) to one of the biggest stars in the world, and not just in terms of physical size.

It was 1959 before Reeves reprised his role as the beefy demi-god in Hercules Unchained, and once again the film was a smash. The action begins right where it left off, with Hercules and his one true love of the moment, Iole (played again by Sylvia Koscina), en route to Thebes. They have a few encounters that clue Hercules in on the fact that all is not well. As the fates would have it, on a rainy night, Hercules, Iole, and their third wheel Ulysses, happen to take shelter in the same cave where the ghostly Oedipus is quarreling with his two sons . Yep, that's Oedipus for you.

The brothers are supposed to alternate years of being the king, and Eteocles, having reached the end of his year, is refusing to give up the throne to his brother, Polinices. Hercules bullies his way in to see Etocles and secures his agreement to abide by the pact. En route to deliver the official document to Polinices, Hercules and Ulysses stop for the night and Hercules wanders down to a nearby stream and takes a few deep swigs from its bubbling waters. He promptly forgets everything and passes out. It turns out these were the cursed Waters of Forgetfulness.

Hercules and Ulysses are spirited away to the island of Lidia, ruled by Queen Omphale. Hercules is fooled into thinking he is her husband, and he spends most of his kingship getting massages and having his way with the ladies. All in all, it sure beats satisfying a pouty ghost and his quarreling offspring. Ulysses, on the other hand, is stuck with a work detail that consists mainly of greasing up Hercules. Upset with his lot in life, Ulysses sends a carrier pigeon to Ithaca, where it is received by Laertes, who immediately gathers up the ol' Argonauts to rescue their big buddy. It takes a while for Hercules to remember who he is, but he eventually comes around just in time to topple some columns and bring Omphale's entire evil empire crashing down around him.

You'd think the movie ends there, but all of a sudden the first movie -– the one about the quarrelsome brothers -– kicks back in, making the whole Lidia excursion nothing more than a very long aside . Herc arrives just in time for a lot of fighting and pushing over of various objects until the day is eventually saved and he is reunited with Iole, choosing to leave out of his tale the bits where he was forced to have non-stop kinky sex . According to the actual ancient stories, after killing Iphitus and trashing the Oracle, Hercules was sold to Queen Omphale of Lydia. She had him dress in women's clothes and do chores usually assigned to women.

Hercules Unchained is a better-structured movie than the original. Instead of a dozen little plots, there are two main ones. The movie also has a memorable villain in Omphale, where the original lacked any particularly menacing bad guys. And of course there was more than a little ass kicking, boulder hurling, column toppling, manly laughing, and other action-packed idiocy expected from Hercules. Even though it had been two years since the original, audiences found their hunger for Hercules was still raging. As with the previous film, Hercules Unchained was a smash hit all over the world.

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posted by Armando at


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