Dear God, make it stop! Please! I know I am a bad person. I do terrible things and think terrible thoughts! The Marquis de Sade doesn't make me blush, and I idolize Bender B. Rodriguez and Larry, that swingin' lounge lizard who lived above the Three's Company apartment. But even a man as evil as I doesn't deserve any more "jungle adventure" movies comprised almost entirely of bored actors pointing at grainy stock footage! The story this time: a group of explorers plunge into the dark heart of Africa in search of the fabled white gorilla, the supposed missing link between primitive ape and modern man. Except that White Pongo isn't a missing link; he's just a regular gorilla, except with white fur. Read into that whatever racial implications you will. Especially when the white gorilla is proven to be heroic and noble, and thus must defend a white woman against the advances of a nasty, brutish black gorilla.Labels: Set: Sci-Fi Classics
posted by Armando at 8:40 PM | 0 Comments |
I would call this one "another snore" if I hadn't watched it immediately after White Pongo. Compared to that slog, Phantom from Space is positively scintillating. Of course, when not judged against White Pongo, the merits of this film are far more dubious, though it gets points for having that sort of misguided and ill-communicated "important message" that so many classic (and less than classic) sci-fi films had. It also has the classic deadpan-yet-excited narrator (if you know the one, then you know the one) talking about "a case from the secret files of the Intelligence Agency, so bizarre it can't be explained!" But after that fun narration, he keeps on talking, giving us times and lat-long coordinates for a crashing UFO. And he just keeps going, making this part of the film sort of like watching the "where are you now" map on long flights. When the spacecraft finally gets around to crashing, the alien stumbles out and 1) happens to be invisible, and 2) accidentally kills someone. This results in the usual string of scenes involving guys in suits stroking their chin and talking about what to do. They really don't get around to doing much of it, but what would you expect from the makers of Killers from Space?Labels: Set: Sci-Fi Classics
posted by Armando at 8:19 PM | 0 Comments |
Wow, I forgot how bad this movie was. I mean, I knew it was bad, but I didn't remember the fact that almost nothing happens for the entire length of the film. About the only thing anyone ever remembers after viewing this film are the space aliens, who are realized by taking regular people, dressing them up in body stockings, then sticking ping ball ball halves over their eyes. They are among the least intimidating alien invaders ever to descend to earth and take up residence in a cave. The film revolves around a scientist (Peter Graves) who disappears, then can't remember where he's been. The government suspects that he was kidnapped and brainwashed or may just be a spy. Under hypnosis and a truth serum, however, he relays a fantastical tale about being abducted by the aforementioned ping-pong ball eye aliens, who want to use his knowledge of atomic sciences to complete their ultimate weapon for the conquest of earth: the ability to radiate bugs and make them larger. What follows is much footage of Peter Graves wandering through a cave set, looking at rear projection of insects. The authorities are slow to believe the testimony despite the truth serum, but when the scientist dashes off to the local power plant, he creates a surge that causes the alien base to blow up. Hooray! One of the mainstays of awful cinema.Labels: Set: Sci-Fi Classics
posted by Armando at 9:28 AM | 0 Comments |
On numerous occasions I have said that I watch all the crap films, so you guys don't have to. Well get out a big black texta colour and cross Project: Kill off your list. It is absolutely dreadful. Project: Kill is one of a myriad of crap films that Leslie Nielsen made before he found an audience as a comedic actor. Here he stars as John Trevor who works for a covert intelligence group, much like the C.I.A. He used to be one of their best field agents, but now he works as a trainer. The films begins with a group of new recruits watching a training film presented by Trevor. The footage shows an assassination attempt being foiled by an 'interdiction' agent. When I heard this in the film, I didn't know what 'interdiction' meant, so I looked it up in the dictionary. The word seems to have a few meanings, but the one that made the most sense to me was : authoritative prohibition. So I'd guess, relating it to the training film, an interdiction agent has the power and authority to stop an assassination attempt. Let's move on shall we?Labels: Set: Action Classics
posted by David at 1:08 AM | 0 Comments |
Knowing that this film was produced by Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, the two men behind Cannon Films didn’t fill me with hope that this would be a quality production. Added to that, the film has now passed into public domain, so I figured this film is the bastard child that nobody wanted. But all that aside, while The Uranium Conspiracy isn’t a top tier spy film, it is certainly better than a lot of the rubbish I sit through. This is mainly due to the charismatic lead actors, Fabio Testi and Assaf Davan. Their energy keep you watching this film, when by all rights you should have turned it off. Labels: Set: Action Classics
posted by David at 8:01 AM | 0 Comments |
The title to this feature is a trifle misleading. Hercules And The Masked Rider is not much of a Hercules film. In fact, Hercules (Alan Steel) is not the star of this movie at all. He is simply a strongman from a troupe of Gypsies, who are drawn into the story at a later stage. And even then, he is very much in the background. It’s almost as if Steel walked onto the wrong set and decided to throw around a few objects in the background. The star of the film is The Masked Rider (Mimmo Palmara), who is very much in your Zorro tradition. Despite the misleading title, . Hercules And The Masked Rider is actually an enjoyable film.Labels: Set: Warriors
posted by David at 8:17 AM | 0 Comments |
Although I'm a big supporter of Italian exploitation director Antonio Margheriti, even I'm hard pressed to be a booster for everything he does, and this early science fiction effort -- his second film -- certainly falls into that category that makes me shrug my shoulders and go, "Well, at least he made Yor, The Hunter from the Future." Rick Van Nutter stars as Ray, an irritating blowhard reporter in the year 2116 who gets assigned to travel with a space crew to a remote station. Problems arise when Ray immediately rubs the captain the wrong way, and the audience is forced to endure the ongoing sniping between these two equally obnoxious guys. The only thing that keeps this crew from deserving to be jettisoned out the airlock is Al, the black guy with snow white hair.Labels: Set: Sci-Fi Classics
posted by Armando at 2:08 AM | 1 Comments |
I don't know a whole lot about Richard Harrison. I first discovered him when I bought the Retromedia Terminal Force / Ring Around The World Double Feature DVD. Terminal Force is almost unwatchable (even by Teleport City's standards), but Ring Around The World has quickly become one of my Eurospy favourites.Labels: Set: Warriors
posted by David at 9:58 PM | 0 Comments |
There seems to be a few versions of this EuroSword flick floating around and depending on which version you find, the hero is either Ali Baba (sans forty thieves), or Sinbad (sans sailing). The most common version available appears to be Ali Baba And The Seven Saracens. The film itself is a middling affair. Some of the sets are rather fake and the dubbing into English is quite wooden. All the actors shout at each other, vowing acts of vengeance and the like. The best thing about this movie is voluptuous actress Bella Cortez, who plays Fatima. She fills her costume in a way that very few of our modern actresses could do.Labels: Set: Warriors
posted by David at 5:08 AM | 0 Comments |
As with most of the Peplum films that are out there, there appears to be many versions of this film, varying in running time from about 90 minutes to 120 minutes. As well as differing running times, the films hero seems to change from either Hercules or Masciste, the son of Hercules. But that shouldn’t matter too much. The version I am reviewing here is the shortened American version, Hercules Against The Barbarians from, you guessed it, the Mill Creek Warriors 50 Movie Pack. Labels: Set: Warriors
posted by David at 5:01 AM | 0 Comments |
Goliath and the Sins of Babylon is one of the better peplum films I have watched recently. This is due to two reasons. The first is the cast, and the second is that it seems to have had more money thrown at it than most.Labels: Set: Warriors
posted by David at 1:41 AM | 0 Comments |
Listen closely to that theme song. I hope you like it. Because it's going to play through the entire movie, almost non-stop. Anyway, this is one of those "must-see" titles that forms the basic foundation of any solid b-movie structure, and though you may wonder at times how the hell it managed to garner such a reputation, by the end of the film, the reason is clear: it has an awesome title.Labels: Set: Sci-Fi Classics
posted by Armando at 10:15 PM | 1 Comments |
Oh man, a couple days ago, was I making fun of Lost Jungle? I take back everything bad I said about that movie, because it was a thrilling spectacle compared to White Gorilla, a horrible film assembled out of the bits and pieces of an old silent serial with some new footage of guys lying on cots thrown in for good measure. It's yet another movie where a haggard dude stumbles into a camp and tells a story about how he got all tattered. So begins endless narration over old silent film footage of a jungle adventure film with no adventure involved, unless you consider watching guys in pith helms crouching in trees to be adventurous. Labels: Set: Tales of Terror
posted by Armando at 10:15 PM | 0 Comments |
Oh man, here we go with another jungle adventure. And since this one stars famed lion tamer Clyde Beatty, you can bet that at least half, if not more, of the movie's running time is going to be scenes of a dude with a whip and a chair messing around with lions. But before we get to that, let me ask a question: how can a jungle be lost? I mean, I can understand being lost in a jungle, or there being a lost something inside a jungle, but how do you lose a whole jungle? It seems to me that, even in the era of travel by dirigible, the losing of a jungle would go something like, "Hmm, where did that jungle go? Oh, there it is; that giant green patch that covers half of Africa." Anyway...Labels: Set: Sci-Fi Classics
posted by Armando at 10:04 PM | 1 Comments |
This movie has one of those classic titles that were the bread and butter of the Halcyon days of drive-in movies. How can you not go see a movie called I Eat Your Skin? Well, I certainly can't go without seeing a movie called I Eat Your Skin, especially if it comes to me courtesy of Del "Monster of Party Beach" Tenney. Tenney's movie was originally called Voodoo Bloodbath, but when the movie got picked up to fill a double bill with I Drink Your Blood, the movie where a kid feeds a bunch of hippies some meat from rabid animals, causing them to turn into foaming-at-the-mouth cannibals, Tenney's tropical island zombie adventure became I Eat Your Skin, even though no skin is actually eaten.Labels: Set: Chilling Classics
posted by Armando at 6:21 PM | 0 Comments |
One kind of forgets that there was a point in history when George Hamilton was famous for actually doing stuff, as opposed to just standing around and having a weird tan. Medusa features a young Hamilton as an American cad in Greece who gets on the wrong end of a substantial Mob debt. Mobster Cameron Mitchell has cut George plenty of slack because he kind of likes the young rakehell, and because George stands to inherit more than enough money to both pay off his debt and pay off plenty of potential future debts. But when word gets out that George may be loosing out on the loot, Mitchell pushes him to track down the people in charge of the will and encourage them to make sure all is well. When those people start turning up murdered, things get ugly for poor George, who expresses remorse for his murderous side projects by doing things like crouching in the corner of a shadowy room and staring off into the distance as he sits on a ride in a playground on a bleak day. Only his sister stands besides him, though Cameron Mitchell seems to be a pretty decent friend when he's not forced to beat George up to collect on the debt.Labels: Set: Chilling Classics
posted by Armando at 2:49 AM | 1 Comments |
Fulfills the 1970s law that all country-related movies had to star Dub Taylor in a dirty t-shirt. It's basically a drive-in exploitation version of Badlands or Bonnie and Clyde, with two young folks on the run after a botched bank robbery. The film does strive to be something a little more, with some interesting arty techniques and some attempts at message (for example, the protagonists are cool with the black people, even in 1970s rural south Georgia -- actually filmed around Tallahassee). It doesn't entirely succeed, but it's also not entirely boring. Dub gets to play it pretty serious, instead of just having to cackle and jig dance and whatever else he was often seen doing. The leads are sort of vacant, but I'm pretty sure they're doing their best to mimic the acting style in Badlands. It works in a lot of ways like a rural version of a blaxploitation film, meaning that you get to see a lot of guerrilla style "on the street" (or the dirt road) slice of life footage, which I always think is cool (though not as cool here as just watching Fred Williamson walk around Harlem for ten minutes). Pretty good music here, too. All in all, not a great film, but surprisingly worth the time it took to watch it.Labels: Set: Drive-In Classics
posted by Armando at 5:36 AM | 0 Comments |
The year is 1227, and the infamous Ghengis Khan has died. His power has gone to his son Ogadai, but his three other sons squabble among themselves for the scraps, always looking for an opportunity to elevate themselves through whatever means possible. And that is the basis for much of this film, which features Ghengis' three backstabbing sons trying to outmaneuver one another. Enter Maciste, or is it Hercules? Exactly what Hercules was doing alive in 1227 AD is a mystery.Labels: Set: Warriors
posted by Armando at 9:35 PM | 0 Comments |
With a name like Alan Steele, you're bound to become a Hercules. That's one of those names like Bart Savagewood or Rock Slabchest. Along with Kirk Morris, Steele (born Sergio Ciani) was one of the few Italian-born actors to find success as a leading man in the sword and sandal genre. Bodybuilding had yet to catch on Italy the way it had on America's West Coast, so homegrown stars were generally relegated to the ranks of second fiddle or "skinny little buddy." Steele was an exception, and that allowed him to work his way up the peplum food chain (high in whey protein). He began his career in 1959 with a small part in Hercules Unchained, and later appeared in Samson (1961), Fury of Hercules (1962), Samson and the Slave Queen (1963), and The Rebel Gladiators (1963) before hitting the big-time with a starring role in 1964’s Hercules Against Rome. That same year, Steele made what is probably his best-known sword and sandal film, the strange Hercules Against the Moon Men, which once again attempted to blend the worlds of ancient fantasy and science fiction by having Herc face off against a bunch of slow moving rock monsters from outer space.Labels: Set: Warriors
posted by Armando at 9:38 PM | 3 Comments |
Born Edmund Holovchik in June of 1928, Ed Fury gave himself a tough sounding name and went on to a successful career as a fitness model during the 1950s, and by fitness model I mean he was in lots of photos with compositions like, "Ed is naked and tangled in a fisherman's net. Ooo, be a sexy merman! Be a sexy merman!". His acting career started on the stage, and he later moved into small roles in films like Athena (alongside Steve Reeves). In 1960, he packed his bags and set sail for Italy, where he made his sword and sandal debut in the wild peplum comedy Colossus and the Amazon Queen. It's a clever film, playing off many of the gender cliches already emerging in the genre. The women perform tasks most often associated with men, while the men all run around like a bunch of howling fops. It’s also one of the only peplum films to feature a hero who shouts, "Yahoo!" in a high-pitched voice.Labels: Set: Warriors
posted by Armando at 9:38 PM | 0 Comments |